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This is the third in a series of articles on character, excerpted from my new book, How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK: A Biblical Blueprint to Bless Your Business. The first two installments of the series are, Are Your Pants on Fire? and, Keep Your Commitments! This week I will discuss going the second mile.
From “Just Enough” to “And then Some”! Most people wouldn’t regard doing only what you are required to do as a character flaw, but THE BOOK instructs otherwise (see Luke 17:7-10). Sadly, an overwhelming number of managers I’ve asked over the years affirm that in their experience, a majority of their employees fall under the category of “just enough” workers. They do just enough to get by; just enough to get paid; just enough not to get fired. This puts a premium value on leaders and subordinates alike who have an, “and then some” mindset. They do what is required, and then some; hit their goals and then some; deliver what they promised and then some. Which best describes your own work ethic: “just enough” or “and then some”? If it’s “just enough”, my guess is that those who follow you emulate your half-hearted effort. On the other hand, if you’re a second-miler, you probably have attracted, inspired and are retaining the same because the speed of the leader is the speed of the pack.
I am blessed with an abundance of friends in business with net worth’s ranging into the billions of dollars. Most of these men and women will readily admit that they are no smarter than their less successful counterparts. They simply outwork them, outthink them, and as a result outperform them. They found that by doing what others were unwilling to do; going where they were unwilling to go; saying what they were unwilling to say, learning what they were unwilling to learn and risking what they were unwilling to risk provided a success and lifestyle that the “just enough” crowd is unable to attain. To quote author and motivator, Zig Ziglar, “There is no traffic jam on the second mile.” This is true because the majority of folks have trouble limping through the first mile, much less bothering themselves with the exertion that would come from going farther.
By THE BOOK Lesson: Going the first mile fulfills an obligation. By going the second mile you earn the right to influence others.
What the Difference a Mile Makes! In Biblical times, there was open animosity between the Roman authorities and their Jewish subjects. Laws that required a Jew to carry the heavy pack for a Roman soldier one mile only made matters worse. So you can imagine the astonishment at Jesus’ teaching that they were to go the second mile! During the first mile there would probably be very little conversation between the Roman and the Jew. In fact, the soldier would most likely regard the burden bearer as a mere servant and suspect him of inward grumbling because the task he performed fulfilled a legal obligation. Imagine the Roman soldier’s total surprise, when at the end of one mile, the servant would say, “I want to carry your pack a second mile.” No longer would the Jew be viewed merely as a servant but as a friend. The conversation would have a whole new basis for significance and would no doubt begin with this question: “Why are you doing this?” The Jewish man would then be able to explain the teaching he learned. And because this teaching had changed his life, the soldier would be open to hearing more. The second mile would earn the Jew a hearing that would open the door for him to influence authorities. The same is true for you, regardless of your position in your organization. You can give one thousand speeches on hard work and dedication, but they will never match the impact you make or the opportunity to witness that you earn when you go the second mile because people will be able to go from listening to your sermon to watching it.
To build a rock solid character, practice going the second mile by doing the following:
Accept the concept that each day you do less than you can, you become less than you are: personally and in the eyes of others.
Embrace the promise of Galatians 6:9: And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Realize that you may be one phone call away; one skill away; one discipline away or one effort away from your next breakthrough. Make your goal to be totally used up when you die; leaving this earth with no regrets; no “I should haves’”, no “I could haves’” and no “If only I would haves’”.
Excerpted from How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK: A Biblical Blueprint to Bless Your Organization."
View free video clips of lessons from How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK at our YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/Learn2Lead
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Keep Your Commitments!
August 26th, 2009
This is the second in a series of articles on character, excerpted from my new book, How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK: A Biblical Blueprint to Bless Your Business. Last week's article was, Are Your Pants on Fire? This week I will discuss keeping commitments and swearing to your own hurt.
Many leaders make casual promises. Some, they never intend to keep: “I’ll call you later and we’ll talk about it.” “If you keep doing a good job, we’ll take a hard look at you when the next management slot opens up.” Other commitments they intend to fulfill, but go back on their word when the price gets too high. They have no trouble justifying their failure to follow through as they explain that “things have changed”. I’m speaking from experience in this regard, and there is one particular incident where I didn’t fulfill my commitment that continues to cause me regret.
I had volunteered to teach a leadership course in Moscow, twice per year, for three years. There were hundreds of leaders who came to the first five of six seminars I had agreed to conduct. However, the leadership team in Moscow that hosted me had been skimming money from the organization that put on the events, as well as from me personally as they double-billed the sponsor and me for like expenses. We had confronted them over these issues twice, as they plead ignorance and promised to put stricter measures in place to ensure it didn’t happen again. When it did happen again during my fifth journey to Russia, I decided that I had enough and that I would not return. I was indignant at being cheated, used every logical argument for not returning and convinced myself that not completing my sixth seminar would serve as a lesson that might encourage more ethical behavior in the future. The problem with my decision, is that regardless of how I spun it, the bottom line was that I was failing to do what I had agreed to do three years prior. I should have kept my word, even though it became unpleasant or costly. At least that’s what THE BOOK says in Psalms 15:4: He who swears to his own hurt and does not change….will never be moved.
Swearing to your own hurt, means that you’ll do what you said you’d do, when you said you’d do it and how you said you’d do it, even if it becomes more costly, inconvenient or time-consuming than you estimated. In retrospect, I should have returned to Moscow, conducted my final conference, dismissed the corrupt board and then announced that no one from the organization I represented would ever return to work in their city again until there are ethical leaders in place to work with.
Cutting Expenses or Breaking a Promise? In tough economic times, business leaders may be tempted to compromise their character in order to save a buck or two. They begin to back out of agreements they signed their name to; a name that was accepted and assumed as honorable by the other party. Under the guise of “cutting back” they renege on promises to customers, vendors and employees. If in the good times, your mouth wrote checks that your bank account can no longer cash, carefully weigh both the legal and moral cost of breaking your word. Cutting expenses is necessary and understandable, but breaking promises is not. It cheapens and diminishes you both as an organization and as a human being. Anyone failing to fulfill an agreement they signed becomes a certifiable liar and a probable cheat.
To build a rock-solid character, do the following:
1. Count the cost. Before you commit to anything, make certain that you can live with the worst case scenario resulting from what you’re saying “yes” to. Understand that there are no “little” commitments to the person you’re committing to!
2. Seek God’s wisdom before deciding. Check with trusted counselors who have nothing to gain or lose, either way, from your decision.
3. Follow through. Do what you said you’d do. Regardless of the cost—and don’t let those last four words cause you to compromise your character!
Excerpted from How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK: A Biblical Blueprint to Bless Your Organization."
View free video clips of lessons from How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK at our YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/Learn2Lead
For ordering information and details on receiving a free, one-year subscription to the How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK Newsletter! (A $99 value!) CLICK HERE.
Are Your Pants on Fire?
August 19th, 2009
As a society, we’ve become accustomed to watching talented and successful people self-destruct because of character issues. Ultimately, they make poor choices, and choices are a big part of what makes up the mental and moral issues that forge our character and distinguish us as human beings. For an example of how ubiquitous character-induced falls from grace are, consider the following headlines that appeared in just a seven-day period as I originally wrote this chapter on character in my new book, How to Run Your Business by the BOOK: A Biblical Blueprint to Bless Your Business : two nominees for cabinet positions in the United States government were discovered to have failed to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in income taxes, a third candidate for a cabinet position is unable to pay nearly six million dollars in campaign debt, a world champion Olympian and national hero was photographed smoking marijuana, a major league baseball player admitted to stealing memorabilia from his former stadium and a slew of CEO’s continue to defend seven and eight figure bonuses from companies they ran into the ground. While it may not make the evening news, each of us is susceptible to the same type of poor judgment and decline in our own lives if we don’t continually work at building a character that produces right values and elicits correct choices.
As I examine my own career and personal life, I realize that during the times when my world wasn’t “right”, it was because I wasn’t right. And don’t be naïve: just because you attend church, or read the Bible, or pray each day doesn’t mean that you are “right”. There’s a significant gap between knowing what is right and actually doing it! Until you close that gap, you’ll continue to fall short of building the character that makes you a leader who is both effective today and will last over the long haul.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll cover five common areas where business leaders fall short on character issues. There are dozens more that I could add to this list, but I chose these five because they are taken too casually by many leaders or are not even considered as a true character flaw at all when compared to treachery like stealing, substance abuse and adultery. You will find that some of the choices I urge you to make concerning these five character issues go against conventional wisdom in the bare-knuckle world of business competition. However, understanding what THE BOOK has to say about these “lesser” matters should encourage you to improve your decisions concerning them and to coach your team to do likewise.
1. Don’t tell “white lies”.
Are your pants on fire? Have you ever instructed your receptionist to tell a caller that you weren’t in the office, even though you were? If so, then you’re a liar. Now, don’t get defensive! You will likely claim that such an insignificant falsehood falls under the Oxford Dictionary definition of a white lie, which is to: tell a harmless or trivial untruth. However, I challenge you to find anywhere in THE BOOK, where a lie of any sort is sanctioned by God as harmless or trivial. Like so many sins, if you begin to explain away a “lesser” form of it through rationalization, soon you can begin to justify graduated infractions that lead you to major lapses in judgment bringing devastating consequences that ruin your life. For instance, men have written off as “harmless” the practice of “just looking” as they lustily stare down an attractive woman. “Ain’t no crime in looking!” they say with a laugh. But a “harmless” leer can lead to “harmless” small talk, which leads to buying one “harmless” drink, which elicits a “harmless” good night kiss, which brings the desire for “harmless”—and secret—follow up phone calls, which concludes in a rendezvous that costs you and your family all that you hold dear and thought was sacred.
If you’re going to start classifying lies as “white” or “whoppers”, you may as well go ahead and categorize different levels of adultery too. What would be an adulterous equivalent of a white lie? Maybe a gentle squeeze or swat on the behind? Or how about a parting hug that is two degrees tighter and three seconds longer than is appropriate? While you’re at it, you could justify stealing from the company as well. The white lie version of embezzlement could be taking a few dollars worth of office supplies home with you, or mailing personal correspondence with company postage or making personal copies on the company Xerox machine. Face the facts. According to THE BOOK, if you tell a lie of any kind, you are a liar and, since Satan is referred to as the “father of lies”, a liar’s label isn’t something you should want as part of your reputation.
Excerpted from How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK: A Biblical Blueprint to Bless Your Organization."
View free video clips of lessons from How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK at our YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/Learn2Lead
For ordering information and details on receiving a free, one-year subscription to the How to Run Your Business by THE BOOK Newsletter! (A $99 value!) CLICK HERE.
Stand by Your Man? Maybe. Maybe Not!
August 14th, 2009
This piece should probably be written by a woman, but a slew of revelations concerning the arrogant escapades of unfaithful, high profile men has riled me to a point where I find myself thinking that the smitten wives should do three things: forgive their husbands, dump them and move on with their lives. Now before you cry 'foul", consider the fact that forgiving them and then dumping them are not at odds with each other. Forgiveness benefits the offended more than the offender because it releases bitterness, anger and resentment. Forgiveness is healthy and mandated by Scripture. But forgiveness does not mean freedom from consequences. And frankly, who could be more deserving of consequences like pain, rejection and betrayal than pathetic, perfidious, narcissistic horndogs like these adulterers?
Frankly a “man” who can father a love-child with another woman while his wife of three decades is a cancer patient should be dumped. A “man” that, after being married for twenty years, is caught in a one-year affair, declares that the other woman is his soul mate and whines that he’ll try to fall back in love with his wife should be dumped. A “man” and father of five that has sex with another woman on a restaurant table, pays $3,000 for her abortion and then refers to the incident as a mere “indiscretion” should be dumped.
I'm not suggesting that one spouse should automatically dump the other over matters of infidelity . But nor do I believe that the offended spouse should automatically be expected by the offender or by a social norm to suck it up and learn to live with their partner's betrayal. On a personal note, my wife has informed me that if I ever emulate the actions of these creeps that I could count on her standing behind me--with a loaded shotgun!
It's not my place to judge these men. However, agreeing with what the Scriptures condemn as wrong—in this case adultery and more—is merely affirming a truth. In one sense I admire the sleazebag’s wives for “standing by their man”. Yet, I also believe that you teach people how to treat you and that these “men”, and others like them, don’t deserve the women that supported them, birthed and raised their children and in many cases, sacrificed and subordinated their own dreams and aspirations to their husband’s ambitions.
Ladies, if you decide to stay the course, I hope it works out for you. But living the rest of your life immersed in suspicion and doubt and questioning where you went wrong, what you did wrong or what’s wrong with you, can be a slow march to misery. I will take the liberty of giving you the benefit of the doubt and tell you that you didn't go wrong, you didn't do anything deserving of this and there is nothing wrong with you. So move on! You can do better! And since he doesn't like to wear his pants, take the shirt off his back on the way out!
If you’ve ever said, “He gave me a bad attitude” or “That meeting ruined my attitude”, then you should realize that you have unknowingly told a lie. Why? Attitude is a choice; always has been and always will be. Perhaps you can’t choose what happens to you, but you do get to choose your response to it. There is great power in that choice and the quality of your responses will greatly determine the quality of your life. In an age of finger pointing at our teachers, coaches, parents, ethnic background, age, gender or surroundings in order to explain away our lack of greater success, it is helpful to shake off denial and face this fact: Success is more about our choices than conditions. And the longer we blame people or “stuff” for what is holding us back, the longer we will remain whiney and wimpy victims, going through life crying about how life hasn’t done enough to make us happy.
Your attitude is shaped by many factors, starting when you are quite young: personality, environment, self-image, the positive or negative expressions of others and your thoughts. While the first four factors listed influence your attitude greatly when you are a child, your thoughts will have a greater bearing on your attitude as an adult. For instance, if you grew up in a ghetto and had parents who divorced while you were young; if people routinely told you that you’d never amount to anything and your self-image took some major hits as a result, then it is safe to say that your attitude was greatly influenced as a youngster as a result of these conditions. Sadly, until you change your thoughts, these childhood factors will continue to influence your attitude—the prevailing way you choose to see the world—throughout your adult life. This baggage will impose tight boundaries around your personal vision for what you can become as a person and for what you can achieve in life.
The impact your environment has on your attitude while young, is precisely why the quality of your thinking as an adult is so instrumental in forming your world view. This explains why the most successful people guard their thoughts; fortify their thoughts, and think about what they’re thinking about. Failing to take control of your thinking causes you to serve a life sentence for the negative influences you experienced during their childhood. In fact, the rooms of therapists are filled with adults who have chosen to bond with and continually rehearse their past and who refuse to stop blaming mom and dad and take responsibility for reshaping their life by first changing the quality of their thoughts.
How you think of something or someone greatly determines your attitude towards it or them. If you have negative thoughts about Muslims, Christians, Caucasians, African Americans, old people, young people and the like, then your thinking will affect your attitude towards these people. By changing how you think about them you can change your attitude as well. This fact explains why attitude is a choice. Someone may alter your mood by the things they say or do, but you are still responsible for choosing how you respond to those actions. Giving up responsibility for your attitude and blaming outside conditions for its state, turns the reins of your personal happiness and well being over to others.
Following are five tips to tap the power of a productive attitude.
Let go of the past. Realize that if you don’t let go of past failures, frustrations or rejection then you simply are not available to create your future with more productive levels of thinking that lead to better results.
Guard your attitude from unproductive influences. This includes the immense negativity and filth you see on television, at the movies, read about in newspapers, on the Internet or in tabloids. These factors influence your thoughts, which in turn shape your attitude; for better or for worse. Another unproductive influence is your own inner dialogue. Guard this carefully! When you catch yourself spewing poison like, “I’m going to have another bad month” or “I’m never going to get the hang of this”, “I’m going to get fired”, or “I’m not going to be able to pay my bills”, put a stop to this nonsense quickly and focus on more productive, solution-oriented thinking that will shift your attitude.
Guard your attitude from unproductive people. You cannot change a negative person. They will change you! If someone has chosen a sour outlook on the world, their views will begin to influence you if you choose to associate with this person. As a result, there are some people in life that you must give up to go up. This doesn’t mean they are bad people or that they are 100% wrong and that you are 100% right. Rather, it suggests that you share different values or that you’ve outgrown them. Even if they sit right across the desk from you at work, you can still limit the time you spend with them and the amount of minutes you waste listening to or dwelling on what they say.
Fortify your attitude. Since your thinking comes under siege every day, it is essential that you fill your head with productive thoughts to replace the negativity that yearns to roost in your psyche. You cannot just try to not think about the negative, nor can you force those thoughts out of your mind. Instead, you must replace them with something else: inspirational reading, productive conversations with uplifting people, spiritual disciplines such as prayer, Bible study, meditation and the like.
Change your thinking. Since your thoughts influence your attitude, it is essential to continually work to improve your quality of thinking. John Maxwell’s book, Thinking for a Change will be a huge help to you in this regard.
Is it time for you to give up the crutch of genetics, environment, the past expressions of others, or a poor self-image and begin taking more responsibility for the state of your attitude and the quality of your life? When you decide to give up your scapegoats and assume personal responsibility for the quality of your thinking, you’ll take an essential step towards gaining control over your own happiness and shunning the victim’s mindset that renders so many people both miserable and mediocre.Of course, by accepting responsibility and refusing to blame, you’ll probably never be invited on the Jerry Springer Show, but you will have the self-respect and personal momentum that comes with knowing that you control your destiny and that the rest of your life is not at the mercy of others’ actions, whims or opinions.
Occasionally, someone’s obnoxious actions remind me that just because he is a “professional” or is in a “profession” doesn’t necessarily mean he knows how to act professionally. Thus, I believe it’s useful to be reminded of what we already know but often forget; the importance of exhibiting common sense business manners that can greatly impact others’ opinion of us. I understand that a couple of these are my personal peeves, but I believe that if something grinds one person, it is likely to do the same to many. Don’t be surprised if, while reading through the following five infractions, you are afflicted by the “cringe factor” as images of people that offended you pop into your mind and cause you to wince at their recollection. Being more cognizant of these offenses will help you ensure that you avoid them and are not the subject of someone else’s cringe as they recall an encounter with you.
1. Taking phone calls when you are with someone else.
This practice is as rude as it is stupid. The person you are getting ready to disrespect may shrug off your behavior as no big deal, but don’t count on them really feeling that way. In fact, I can think of little more that says to the person in front of you, “I don’t know who this person is or what the call concerns. All I know is that they must be more important than you, so excuse me while I render you to cellophane status and give my attention to them.”
2. Giving your attention to technology when you should be focused on people.
This expands point one to include reading or sending text messages while you are having a conversation with someone else. It’s bad enough when only you and the person you’re diminishing is in the room, but when play with your gadget in a meeting, you distract and disregard even more people. Unless your wife is expecting to give birth or someone dear to you is on life support, leave your gizmo out of sight until you’re finished with the matter at hand.
3. Sloppy, unfocused handshakes.
If you don’t have the decency to look someone in the eye when you shake their hand, your ignorance and indifference renders you hopeless. Avoiding eye contact, glancing past the person or down at your shoes makes you appear shady, arrogant or disingenuous. It also helps if you can put a little firmness in your grip so the recipient of your handshake doesn’t mistake your hand for a dead carp.
4. Filling every silent space with trivial conversation.
Speaking too much makes you appear common and self-centered. Don’t feel the need to fill each quiet moment or pause in a conversation with trivial banter. Incessant babbling is both boring and bad manners. I am acquainted with a total imbecile that fools others into believing he is wise by remaining silent and appearing thoughtful throughout much of a conversation. Many people would make more sales and friends by imitating this imbecile.
5. Blowing your nose when you’re at the breakfast/lunch/dinner/meeting table.
Is it just me, or does the sound of mucus rumbling around in someone’s head make you want to lose your lunch? To make matters worse, some morons insist on examining their haul, gazing intently into the torn and tattered tissue! Please understand that this behavior isn’t likely to impress clients or co-workers! How can anyone, in their right mind, believe that someone won’t care as they blow their brains out while they attempt to either converse or eat? This is what restrooms are for! If it’s inconvenient for you to leave the table to tend to your nasal drainage behind closed doors then please consider the wretched inconvenience others must endure as they witness the trombone section in the middle of your face transform into Mt.Vesuvius as they try to enjoy their oysters-on-a-half-shell.
I recentlly had dinner with a fellow that committed numbers 1, 4 and 5 before the appetizers even arrived. I knew at that moment that if ignorance were truly bliss, that I was in the presence of the happiest man on earth.
If you’re guilty of these bad business manners or others like them, try to become more aware of how they negatively impact your image, your influence and the regard others have for you. Sometimes people have such a difficult time getting past “who you are” that they are unable to focus on what you’re saying or selling. In other words, an offensive messenger destroys the message.
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